Wednesday, February 18, 2009

IF EVERY FAMILY COULD HELP ONLY ONE POOR., THERE WOULDN´T BE POORS IN THIS WORLD.

Talking briefly about poor people
Pollution everywhere
Promises
Yearly Volunteer Teacher
Conscious of the circumstance´s World

It is very common in Mexico., & very sad of course., to find poor kids., or youngs asking for charity., there are women with 2 or 3 boys & hanging another one & pregnant in a corner selling maybe chewing gum or just telling people to help her. It is like to be thinking., & what else could that woman do?

No studies., no culture., no nothing & if she has a husband., he only could take all the little money they could get during the day.

If every people could be a little more conscious., about what happens in the world… about all the things happening today., all the terrorism lived in the world. there are different things., violence., terrorism., grafitti´s everywhere only as a mark of non conformism., like a rebelion.,
Polluted about sad thoughts., defending from our same people?

The reason could be easily found., the reason that some people can have education., & some kind of things & other sector couldn´t be just have being lucky in this world., it is not being lucky or not., but what about to be honest & smiling to all those who need.

Commonly when someone wants something., makes promises & offers & offers., “&I am not talking about politics”., only during the short moment they get what they want to., after that all that echonomical non privileged sector continues in the same.

Years ago., I had the choice of teaching an adults group to read & write., during one year I visited the community & they got their Elementary Certificate., I began with 44 students., I didn´t know but someone from a political campaign offered them money to study & to show prefference before the rebbutal.

Some of them were estimulated & some of they didn´t. Those who were paid got their studies., the others continue without having education.
Those kind of things happen., & if every one could be conscious… we would live in a wonderful world.

I really would like to take that humble little boy´s path… & every one could walk like the divine justice says., in a polluted world not about substances., polluted about ideologies., about promises.,about even today oppression., it´s true.

Hoping that this reflection gives you a minute to think in you & in someone else.

Give a smile today

Varela Gaby

Continue Reading IF EVERY FAMILY COULD HELP ONLY ONE POOR., THERE WOULDN´T BE POORS IN THIS WORLD.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Disgusted with NJ Family Court

First and foremost, I would like to apologize in advance for the legnth of my story.  I was asked to write a summary for an attorney.  The following is what I came up with.  It is not the entire story but most of it.  If you have any questions pertaining to any of this information feel free to contact me.

Unsure where to begin, which beginning to a start from? The very beginning when we first started dating? The beginning of the battle back and forth for Tristin? I just don’t know? It seems like I have been waiting for this moment forever, the moment someone actually takes the minute to listen. I have contemplated this opportunity thousands of times in my head, what I would say, what I would do, how I would act.

Now, finally someone wants to hear from me. What happened? How? And Why? I must say for the very first time in my life I am speechless and cannot put a word down on paper. Suddenly, I have drawn a blank. I can’t think of one word to write, or say. I have been sitting here for days trying to think! Nothing wants to come out. It is Sunday June 25, 2006 at 2:26 in the afternoon. D-Day is tomorrow, she wants it by then. And still I am sitting here trying to think of what to write. I am filled with anxiety; I don’t want to forget anything that might be important. I am afraid if I don’t remember every detail it will hurt in the end. So, I guess I am going to do my best and pray.

Adam: Born: November 19, 1974
Tristin: Born: September 8, 1997
Dawn Michelle: Born: October 13, 1969
Melissa: Born: April 1, 1978

From the beginning, Adam and I started dating June 5, 1995. I should have known right from the start to turn and run. But, I didn’t. The relationship was abusive mentally and physically since the beginning. If Adam didn’t get his way with something you were demeaned and hit. A prime example being, if I didn’t agree with him or listen to what he said or wanted done he would throw me to the floor, sit on top of me with his knees on my shoulders, spit on my face and slap me. Adam is about 6’0 and at the time about 218 pounds, and training to become a professional body builder. I am about 5’3 and at the time weighed about 95-100 pounds. We had broken up many times. He always found a way to go back out again.

To jump ahead some. After I became pregnant it slowly became worse. The first thing I was told is that he wanted a son, and if we didn’t have one it was over. Then when he found out it was a boy, he told me that I would never take it away from him. He made that statement several times before Tristin was even born. He told me that if I ever tried to take him away he would kill me. After Tristin was born, things became even worse. The fighting the arguing was on a constant basis. It never ended. Adam, I think was upset because he could no longer be the center of attention. The baby was God he was now on a back burner.

Some time after Tristin had been born, Adam and I had and argument over what should be prepared for dinner, I refused to make what he wanted for dinner, so he decided he was going to slap me around the kitchen, then he punched me in the face and pushed me down the stairs. When his parents came back from their weekend getaway in PA, his mother wanted nothing to do with it. When she saw my face, she said he is my son; I can’t do anything about it. You must have given him a reason. Afraid to do anything, I had to stay. If I called the police once he came back it would just have been worse. I couldn’t go to my parents; he would have just followed me there and made things bad all the way around. There was no where to hide or turn.

I guess now as l look back on most of it, I am not surprised at the way he is, look at his family, there was never a dull moment in that household. The sanest one in the family is his sister. To this day I idolize her. Smart, great head on her shoulders, responsible, funny, great mom. Their Dad however; controlling, bossy, sneaky, never around, showed no respect to the mother, thought he was Gods gift, woman were beneath him, had an affair with a drug addict.

The mother, no self respect or pride, no self esteem, doted on everything the father did, no matter what her children did no wrong. The brother, now he was the best, has a great wife, but it wasn’t enough for him, just days before the wedding he gets caught sleeping with the maid of honor under the pool table, of course this isn’t the first time he strays away and poor wife never knows about it. He was even sleeping with my sister. He has no work ethic, morals, devious, vindictive and will look right at you and stab you in the back, he just like Adam will do whatever it takes to get what they want no matter what needs to be done.

I actually wish I had a tape recorder for half of what went on. This was the most racist family I ever met, excluding the sister. You could never have a conversation with anyone about someone of a different color without hearing a racial slur, and don’t ever think about bringing anyone in the house that wasn’t white. Not unless you wanted them to get chased down the street by a raving lunatic trying to kill them.

Anyway. Then it is decided that we are finally going to move out of Adams parents basement. To a trailer in Jackson. Since Adam co-signed on a house for his brother and wife, his credit was destroyed and he couldn’t get a mortgage for anything else. I must say this did not last long at all. The violence became worse and along with the beatings came nonconsensual sex. It didn’t matter if you said no or not, if he wanted it he was getting it.

Adam never cared for Tristin, in the first year he was born you could count on one hand how many times he bathed and changed Tristin. Everything was a battle. I could never leave the house without taking him, even if it was to grocery shop. No matter what I had to take him. He also managed to get fired from a job he had for a few years making decent money. He chose not to look for more employment. When the money got tight and started to run out if became worse.Then he takes a bouncing job at a gentlemen’s club called Fantasies in Keyport. Which he also got fired from.

On, August 16, 1998, we got into a huge argument. Adam threw me and Tristin out of the trailer. My friends mother came to pick us up. (He would not give me the keys to my vehicle) We stayed at her house for the night. The next day when I went to visit anther friend, Adam showed up at his house escorted by police with a restraining order, and in relief of it he wanted custody.

Adam stated in a previous motion he filed with the court that DYFS granted him initial custody. He also lied when he filled out the paperwork for that. He said on one page he was employed and the next that he wasn’t. He also stated on his paperwork that DYFS had been involved for a court investigation. The Ocean County Court never requested and investigation. In fact, Adam called himself. He cleaned the house and went grocery shopping and made it a point to show the woman the receipt and then laugh about it. “It was easier than I thought.”

I had to fight tooth and nail to get my truck back. He has actually told the courts that it belonged to him. My grandfather gave me that truck! I went to the house several times to get it while he was working. He in fact took went to such great lengths to make sure I wasn’t going to get it either. I went there with the police; he took the distributor and the rotor off of the truck so it wouldn’t start. How much more vindictive can you be? The he found out I was there and called the police and told them he owned the vehicle. He was partially telling the truth. When my grandfather gave me the truck Adam would not give me the money to register it unless I let him go on the title as a lien holder. I fought and finally got it back. With loose valve covers and all. So in no time all the oil came out and I had to buy another car. I guess he thought if he blew up the motor I would have no choice than but to go back to him.

In the meantime, I continued to reside with my grandmother. Adam stated in previously that the Court and DYFS gave him custody. Wrong, Adam had his attorney Mr. Kwasnik from Edison, draw up custody papers. On August 22, 1998, I was told by Adam that if I did not agree to it and sign the papers he would either a) kill me or b) run off to Canada. (Most his family still reside there.) Adam has denied this allegation over and over again. So, I sign the papers. I didn’t know what else to do. I just turned 20, I had no lawyer, no support system, and really other than my grandmothers house I had no where to live. So, then we tried to work it out again. Same things different days. I leave again, this time alone and without my son.

Adam slapped me around and literally through me off the front porch with nothing except what I was wearing. I walked to a neighbors house that let me use the phone. I took a bus to Sayreville and stayed with my friend Mary. After a fight and a struggle I eventually got my vehicle back. My stay with Mary was a short lived dream. After, Adam found out where I was, he would show up at all hours of the night and be harassing. The one night I remember vividly, is I came home from work, Adam was there in the parking lot. I didn’t want a confrontation so I left the parking lot and got back on the highway. Adam followed me and chased me all the way up Route 9 North, when he saw I wasn’t going to stop he kept trying to run me off the road. That wasn’t the first or the last time.It was almost Christmas time; Adam wanted to try to work it out one more time. So, I go to his house for the week. It wasn’t so bad during the day but once bedtime came it was a whole different story. Right back to the same antics. I will take what is mine. He dream was short lived.

After the holiday I went back home and didn’t go back. New Years would be the last time I saw Tristin. Adam would not allow any visitation, or take anymore calls. I gave it a little time then drove down to his home on a Sunday and found it empty. Completely abandoned. I had no one to help me this time. My parents weren’t speaking to me, his family wouldn’t tell me anything.

I was working fulltime and saving my money. At last, I had enough money saved. July of 1999, I went to an attorney who filed custody papers. It had been months since I saw or heard from Adam. I finally found him. He moved to PA. To his parents summer cottage. He was still unemployed and on welfare. The State of NJ made him move back! He moves in with his parents. I didn’t get custody, but I found a start visitation.

Things weren’t bad for a while. No arguing or anything. Adam’s dad helps him get a job at PSE&G. He enrolls Tristin in daycare at the YMCA in Plainfield. I helped him every week with the expense. I started giving him $60.00 a week and giving him money for other things, such as diapers, food, clothes, etc. Then Adam took Tristin out of the YMCA and placed him with a young girl named Stephanie. Who didn’t speak any English and lived behind his parents in the apartments.

A few times we had some indifference about the way that Tristin was treated when it came to Adam and discipline. I didn’t feel it was necessary to discipline Tristin physically. He was a child who would listen when spoken to. I have never in my life seen a child look at a parent with as much fear as Tristin looks at Adam. I have never seen a child become physically ill when disciplined or wet themselves until, Tristin. Adam has stated to the courts a multitude of times including in the best interests evaluation that he has never resorted to physical discipline with Tristin.
2001 Everything goes fine for a while. We even took a vacation to my parents together. We took Tristin out to dinner every once in a while as a family, and Adam started to seem like he was finally calming down. This wasn’t about to last forever either. It was all about to change again, this time for the worst.Adam slips and falls on the ice while at work. So, now he is on workmen’s compensation and a lot of prescription medication. His attitude and demeanor changes with each day. Most days were bad days.

Adam decides that he is going to leave Tristin at my parents house in Virginia for the summer on one of his trips. Because he was going for surgery and would not be able to care for him.

(In the meantime he is so injured he can’t work but he can buy a 700 or so pound motorcycle, take frequent trips out of state. He can’t walk for a living reading meters but he can handle motorcycles and travel?) The best is, you express your concerns to the court, he is addicted to prescription medication, and he is so doped up that her 10 year old is raising my son in their house. Why he is too stoned to get out of bed to take care of the kids, and she lays around depressed and unmediated all day long. They should both be evaluated.

Well, on one of Adams trips there, he becomes angry with Tristin because he wets through his diaper and clothes. He starts yelling, screaming and beating him. Adam removed the diaper and clothes Tristin had on, still yelling and screaming, started beating him while he was bare. My father witnessed this particular incident. He said Tristin kept shouting Daddy stop! My father went to get my mother, afraid what would happen if they called the sheriffs department, my father went back to the family room and grabbed Adam by the arm. He told Adam to get off of Tristin. My parents have both expressed their concerns for Tristin but also feel afraid and unsure what to do. My parents have both noticed the change in Tristin when he is around his father and away. (I didn’t find out about this until a few years later. At which point my father typed and signed an affidavit of the events that occurred.)

In this same summer, Adam meets a married woman with a 10 year old child, on the internet. Who had lived in North Carolina. She came to my parents house to meet him. My parents first impression of the woman was not kind. She behaved and acted inappropriately in front of their children. She went back to North Carolina and he went back to New Jersey. They start a long distance relationship. A few months later they decided that they were going to move in together. She leaves her husband and starts for NJ.

The next big thing that happens is that her family gets a hold of my information and contacts me. They tell me that I want to continue to see my child alive and healthy to get him out of the situation ASAP. Her family gave me her ENTIRE history. They started off by telling me her birthday and social. Then goes into how many times she has been married. Twice to be exact, and neither of them was to her childs father. Rick. Whom she tells her daughter is dead, but he is alive and well in West Virginia. The first time she was married was to a guy named Willie Cox, which last a whopping 6 months. Then to Todd. That lasted two years. I am unsure what the deal was with the first guy, I think he was a drinker or something. The second guy was real nice from what I hear. His parents took a liking to her daughter and loved her like their own.

During the time of their marriage, Michelle went to Daytona Bike Week, (without Todd) and turns up pregnant. No one knows where that baby went. I was told that Michelle was not a hygienic person, did not keep a house, and was abusive to other children. Michelle, bit her 6 year old nephew. She has locked her daughter in her bedroom numerous times, Tristin has complained of being locked in closets by Michelle. Michelle has been noted to be verbally and physically abusive by her family. Tristin complained on a few occasions of being called names and a pain in the balls.

Michelles family informed me that she is BI-POLAR. She was on a medication called EFFEXOR (she decided to stop taking this). She was admitted to the Psychiatric Ward of the Charleston Area Medical Center. Her psychiatrists name was Dr. Gina in West Virginia. Michelle was treated for psychological problems as a child. Michelle’s biological father is BI-POLAR, he takes LITHIUM. Michelle’s brother Leon also suffers from metal problems.

Michelle has denied this to the courts. She was court ordered to receive a BI-POLAR examination. I contacted the Mayo clinic and some reputable psychiatrists who have said that a BI-POLAR examination cannot be done in two 45 minute sessions, weeks apart. They have stated that normally the exam would be conducted under constant 24 hour supervision for at least 7 days, by a psychiatrist not by a clinical psychologist. Adam also has complained of many of the same issues concerning Michelle. He has said that she is extremely moody, unhygienic, insecure, controlling, and mean to the children, does not keep the house cleaned at all, and is constantly crying and having fits of rage. He has said that she will call him almost every 10-15 minutes when he is out of the house.

Adam had gone to visit my mother when she was in NJ and expressed how he knew something was wrong with her. She is always crying, she is very moody, she won’t take care of the house, herself or the kids. And this wasn’t long after he brought her there. I spoke to him briefly about it and he said he had to find a way to send her back to North Carolina. The next thing you knew she was pregnant again. Then supposedly they got married.

Adam became irate with my mother because I had expressed my concerns to the court again about Michelle’s condition. He sent her an email yelling at her about. He told her I told you those things in confidence and you went back and told that bitch! Except what Adam didn’t know, is that HER family was constantly contacting me. Via phone, internet, whatever they could. Michelle’s family has also expressed concerns of both the childrens safety. Michelle’s family has stated that she was molested by her Biological father as a child, and that it became consensual as she became older. They have expressed that Michelle tries to dominate every situation she is in, especially when it comes to a personal relationship. She does not want to feel any intimidation so she will do what it takes to rid of it.

I petitioned the court on December 5, 2001, pleading with them for the safety of Tristin, I begged them to not allow Adam to move in with this woman, or at least give me residential custody. Adam was trying to conceal Tristin once again and lied to me about where he was moving. I compelled the court for him to reveal his true address to me. Everything truly went down hill from here.

Adam moved in with Michelle into his parents house, then into an apartment in Franklin Township. Tristin was forced to share a room with a 10 year old girl. I requested a Best Interest Evaluation be done; the courts did not do that until 2003.I tried to tell the courts how Adam was raising Tristin. For the most part to be a racist. I was amazed at the slurs that Tristin knew.
He had no respect for other people, including law enforcement. Adam had gloated and laughed about being pulled over and Tristin screaming “pig” at the officer. He didn’t think twice to tell him they were bad. I don’t know who he would have told him to look for if he was ever lost or needed help. It was at the point where I had close friends on a local PD come to the home in full uniform and in a police car. They helped us teach Tristin to have respect for law and its officials.
Another incident that I can remember is when Adam took Tristin through the drive-thru at McDonalds, Tristin had become irritated with waiting so he started yelling at the guy in front of them to move. Calling him names such as “bindi” and dot head. I worked a lot with Tristin to teach him how to be respectful towards other people, no matter what they looked like.

Adam, still contacted me on civil terms here and there, and still avidly spoke to my parents.
Adam, continually expressed concerns about the situation. Adam and I constantly argued over the court orders. Each time a petition was filed Adam would call DYFS, falsify information so that they would conduct and investigation.

The first time he did this was in July of 2002, on Sunday July 21, 2002, I had filed for a child support reduction and the hearing was on July 22, the next day. Tristin and I had spent the weekend in Cape May and the beach. Adam called DYFS that evening and told them that I had punched and kicked Tristin in the face. (Ironically, Tristin did not have any bruises. Adam never took him to the doctor for it.) DYFS did not contact me until August concerning the incident, they handled the case terribly, when I called the same case worker because Tristin had come to my home with infected blisters and Bacterial Conjunctivitis and bruises, their worker Kofi told me he did not think it was necessary to go visit Tristin.

There different issues on three different dates, they didn’t do anything. So, documented it with the police and saved the doctor bills. Adam actually called DYFS and told them that I gave Tristin Bacterial Conjunctivitis, in an hours time. When I rushed Tristin to the doctor she told me that he had, had it so long that I didn’t bring him he would have gone blind. (This was all on a Friday at about 7:30 in the evening; I had picked Tristin up at 6:00pm)He even went to such great lengths to include my ex boyfriend in on his sick tirade. JD and his family were so good to Tristin. They all had loved him like he was their own. They all had done something on their part to create happiness for Tristin.

Things had become so horrible that I had to obtain yet another restraining order. After numerous threats from Adam and Michelle I had no other choice. The same evening at about 3 in the morning the window was broken out of one of our cars parked in the street. Of course, Adam denied it. But we had never had that problem before.

Continue Reading Disgusted with NJ Family Court

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Unjust NJ Family Court System

Unsure where to begin, which beginning to a start from? The very beginning when we first started dating? The beginning of the battle back and forth for Tristin? I just don’t know? It seems like I have been waiting for this moment forever, the moment someone actually takes the minute to listen. I have contemplated this opportunity thousands of times in my head, what I would say, what I would do, how I would act.
Now, finally someone wants to hear from me. What happened? How? And Why? I must say for the very first time in my life I am speechless and cannot put a word down on paper. Suddenly, I have drawn a blank. I can’t think of one word to write, or say. I have been sitting here for days trying to think! Nothing wants to come out. It is Sunday June 25, 2006 at 2:26 in the afternoon. D-Day is tomorrow, she wants it by then. And still I am sitting here trying to think of what to write. I am filled with anxiety; I don’t want to forget anything that might be important. I am afraid if I don’t remember every detail it will hurt in the end. So, I guess I am going to do my best and pray.

Adam Richard Tardif Born November 19, 1974
Tristin Nathaniel Tardif Born September 8, 1997
Dawn Michelle Fitzwater Born October 13, 1969
Melissa Lee Smith Born April 1, 1978
(A.k.a. Carmela Papariello)
From the beginning, Adam and I started dating June 5, 1995. I should have known right from the start to turn and run. But, I didn’t. The relationship was abusive mentally and physically since the beginning. If Adam didn’t get his way with something you were demeaned and hit. A prime example being, if I didn’t agree with him or listen to what he said or wanted done he would throw me to the floor, sit on top of me with his knees on my shoulders, spit on my face and slap me. Adam is about 6’0 and at the time about 218 pounds, and training to become a professional body builder. I am about 5’3 and at the time weighed about 95-100 pounds. We had broken up many times. He always found a way to go back out again. To jump ahead some. After I became pregnant it slowly became worse.
The first thing I was told is that he wanted a son, and if we didn’t have one it was over. Then when he found out it was a boy, he told me that I would never take it away from him. He made that statement several times before Tristin was even born. He told me that if I ever tried to take him away he would kill me. After Tristin was born, things became even worse. The fighting the arguing was on a constant basis. It never ended. Adam I think was upset because he could no longer be the center of attention. The baby was God he was now on a back burner. Some time after Tristin had been born, Adam and I had and argument over what should be prepared for dinner, I refused to make what he wanted for dinner, so he decided he was going to slap me around the kitchen, then he punched me in the face and pushed me down the stairs. When his parents came back from their weekend getaway in PA, his mother wanted nothing to do with it. When she saw my face, she said he is my son; I can’t do anything about it. You must have given him a reason. Afraid to do anything, I had to stay. If I called the police once he came back it would just have been worse. I couldn’t go to my parents; he would have just followed me there and made things bad all the way around. There was no where to hide or turn. I guess now as l look back on most of it, I am not surprised at the way he is, look at his family, there was never a dull moment in that household. The sanest one in the family is his sister. To this day I idolize her. Smart, great head on her shoulders, responsible, funny, great mom. The father, controlling, bossy, sneaky, never around, showed no respect to the mother, thought he was Gods gift, woman were beneath him, had an affair with a drug addict. The mother, no self respect or pride, no self esteem, doted on everything the father did, no matter what her children did no wrong. The brother, now he was the best, has a great wife, but it wasn’t enough for him, just days before the wedding he gets caught sleeping with the maid of honor under the pool table, of course this isn’t the first time he strays away and poor wife never knows about it. He was even sleeping with my sister. He has no work ethic, morals, devious, vindictive and will look right at you and stab you in the back, he just like Adam will do whatever it takes to get what they want no matter what needs to be done. I actually wish I had a tape recorder for half of what went on. This was the most racist family I ever met, excluding the sister. You could never have a conversation with anyone about someone of a different color without hearing a racial slur, and don’t ever think about bringing anyone in the house that wasn’t white. Not unless you wanted them to get chased down the street by a raving lunatic trying to kill them. Anyway. Then it is decided that we are finally going to move out of Adams parents basement. To a trailer in Jackson. Since Adam co-signed on a house for his brother and wife, his credit was destroyed and he couldn’t get a mortgage for anything else. I must say this did not last long at all. The violence became worse and along with the beatings came nonconsensual sex. It didn’t matter if no or not, if he wanted it he was getting it. Adam never cared for Tristin, in the first year he was born you could count on one hand how many times he bathed and changed Tristin. Everything was a battle. I could never leave the house without taking him, even if it was to grocery shop. No matter what I had to take him. He also managed to get fired from a job he had for a few years making decent money. He chose not to look for more employment. When the money got tight and started to run out if became worse. Then he takes a bouncing job at a gentlemen’s club called Fantasies in Keyport. Which he also got fired from.On, August 16, 1998, we got into a huge argument. Adam threw me and Tristin out of the trailer. My friends mother came to pick us up. (He would not give me the keys to my vehicle) We stayed at her house for the night. The next day when I went to visit anther friend, Adam showed up at his house with a restraining order, and in relief of it he wanted custody. Adam stated in a court order that he had his lawyer prepare that DYFS granted him initial custody. He also lied when he filled out the paperwork for that. He said on one page he was employed and the next that he wasn’t. He also stated on his paperwork that DYFS had been involved for a court investigation. The Ocean County Court never requested and investigation. In fact, Adam called himself. He cleaned the house and went grocery shopping and made it a point to show the woman the receipt and then laugh about it. “It was easier than I thought.”
I had to fight tooth and nail to get my truck back. He has actually told the courts that it belonged to him. My grandfather gave me that truck! I went to the house several times to get it while he was working. He in fact took went to such great lengths to make sure I wasn’t going to get it either. I went there with the police; he took the distributor and the rotor off of the truck so it wouldn’t start. How much more vindictive can you be? The he found out I was there and called the police and told them he owned the vehicle. He was partially telling the truth. When my grandfather gave me the truck Adam would not give me the money to register it unless I let him go on the title as a lien holder. I fought and finally got it back. With loose valve covers and all. So in no time all the oil came out and I had to buy another car. I guess he thought if he blew up the motor I would have no choice than but to go back to him. In the meantime, I continued to reside with my grandmother. Adam stated in previously that the Court and DYFS gave him custody. Wrong, Adam had his attorney Mr. Kwasnick from Edison, draw up custody papers. On August 22, 1998, I was told by Adam that if I did not agree to it and sign the papers he would either a) kill me or b) run off to Canada. (Most his family still reside there.) Adam has denied this allegation over and over again. So, I sign the papers. I didn’t know what else to do. I just turned 20, I had no lawyer, no support system, and really other than my grandmothers house I had no where to live. So, then we tried to work it out again. Same things different days. I leave again, this time alone and without my son.
Adam slapped me around and literally through me off the front porch with nothing except what I was wearing. I walked to a neighbors house that let me use the phone. I took a bus to Sayreville and stayed with my friend Mary. After a fight and a struggle I eventually got my vehicle back. My stay with Mary was a short lived dream. After, Adam found out where I was, he would show up at all hours of the night and be harassing. The one night I remember vividly, is I came home from work, Adam was there in the parking lot. I didn’t want a confrontation so I left the parking lot and got back on the highway. Adam followed me and chased me all the way up Route 9 North, when he saw I wasn’t going to stop he kept trying to run me off the road. That wasn’t the first or the last time.It was almost Christmas time; Adam wanted to try to work it out one more time. So, I go to his house for the week. It wasn’t so bad during the day but once bedtime came it was a whole different story. Right back to the same antics. I will take what is mine. He dream was short lived.
After the holiday I went back home and didn’t go back. New Years would be the last time I saw Tristin. Adam would not allow any visitation, or take anymore calls. I gave it a little time then drove down to his home on a Sunday and found it empty. Completely abandoned. I had no one to help me this time. My parents weren’t speaking to me, his family wouldn’t tell me anything. So, I tried to keep a close eye and find him. I was working fulltime and saving my money.At last, I had enough money saved. July of 1999, I went to an attorney who filed custody papers. It had been months since I saw or heard from Adam. I finally found him. He moved to PA. To his parents summer cottage. He was still unemployed and on welfare. The State of NJ made him move back! He moves in with his parents. I didn’t get custody, but I found a start visitation. Things weren’t bad for a while. No arguing or anything. Adam’s dad helps him get a job at PSE&G. He enrolls Tristin in daycare at the YMCA in Plainfield. I helped him every week with the expense. I started giving him $60.00 a week and giving him money for other things, such as diapers, food, clothes, etc. Then Adam took Tristin out of the YMCA and placed him with a young girl named Stephanie. Who didn’t speak any English and lived behind his parents in the apartments. A few times we had some indifference about the way that Tristin was treated when it came to Adam and discipline. I didn’t feel it was necessary to discipline Tristin physically. He was a child who would listen when spoken to. I have never in my life seen a child look at a parent with as much fear as Tristin looks at Adam. I have never seen a child become physically ill when disciplined or wet themselves until, Tristin. Adam has stated to the courts a multitude of times including in the best interests evaluation that he has never resorted to physical discipline with Tristin.
2001 Everything goes fine for a while. We even took a vacation to my parents together. We took Tristin out to dinner every once in a while as a family, and Adam started to seem like he was finally calming down. This wasn’t about to last forever either. It was all about to change again, this time for the worst.Adam slips and falls on the ice while at work. So, now he is on workmen’s compensation and a lot of prescription medication. His attitude and demeanor changes with each day. Most days were bad days.
Adam decides that he is going to leave Tristin at my parents house in Virginia for the summer on one of his trips. Because he was going for surgery and would not be able to care for him.(In the meantime he is so injured he can’t work but he can buy a 700 or so pound motorcycle, take frequent trips out of state. He can’t walk for a living reading meters but he can handle motorcycles and travel?) The best is, you express your concerns to the court, he is addicted to prescription medication, and he is so doped up that her 10 year old is raising my son in their house. Why he is too stoned to get out of bed to take care of the kids, and she lays around depressed and unmediated all day long. They should both be evaluated.
Well, on one of Adams trips there, he becomes angry with Tristin because he wets through his diaper and clothes. He starts yelling, screaming and beating him. Adam removed the diaper and clothes Tristin had on, still yelling and screaming, started beating him while he was bare. My father witnessed this particular incident. He said Tristin kept shouting Daddy stop! My father went to get my mother, afraid what would happen if they called the sheriffs department, my father went back to the family room and grabbed Adam by the arm. He told Adam to get off of Tristin. My parents have both expressed their concerns for Tristin but also feel afraid and unsure what to do. My parents have both noticed the change in Tristin when he is around his father and away. (I didn’t find out about this until a few years later. At which point my father typed and signed an affidavit of the events that occurred.)
In this same summer, Adam meets a married woman with a 10 year old child, on the internet. Who had lived in North Carolina. She came to my parents house to meet him. My parents first impression of the woman was not kind. She behaved and acted inappropriately in front of their children. She went back to North Carolina and he went back to New Jersey. They start a long distance relationship. A few months later they decided that they were going to move in together. She leaves her husband and starts for NJ.
The next big thing that happens is that her family gets a hold of my information and contacts me. They tell me that I want to continue to see my child alive and healthy to get him out of the situation ASAP. Her family gave me her ENTIRE history. They started off by telling me her birthday and social. Then goes into how many times she has been married. Twice to be exact, and neither of them was to her childs father. Rick Lambert. Whom she tells her daughter is dead, but he is alive and well in West Virginia. The first time she was married was to a guy named Willie Cox, which last a whopping 6 months. Then to Todd Fitzwater. That lasted two years. I am unsure what the deal was with the first guy, I think he was a drinker or something. The second guy was real nice from what I hear. His parents took a liking to her daughter and loved her like their own.
During the time of their marriage, Michelle went to Daytona Bike Week, (without Todd) and turns up pregnant. No one knows where that baby went. I was told that Michelle was not a hygienic person, did not keep a house, and was abusive to other children. Michelle, bit her 6 year old nephew. She has locked her daughter in her bedroom numerous times, Tristin has complained of being locked in closets by Michelle. Michelle has been noted to be verbally and physically abusive by her family. Tristin complained on a few occasions of being called names and a pain in the balls. Michelles family informed me that she is BI-POLAR. She was on a medication called EFFEXOR (she decided to stop taking this). She was admitted to the Psychiatric Ward of the Charleston Area Medical Center. Her psychiatrists name was Dr. Gina Puzzuoli, 5600 Mac Corkle Ave. So. East. Kanawha City, West Virginia. Michelle was treated for psychological problems as a child. Michelle’s biological father is BI-POLAR, he takes LITHIUM. Michelle’s brother Leon Kiska also suffers from metal problems.
Michelle has denied this to the courts. She was court ordered to receive a BI-POLAR examination. I contacted the Mayo clinic and some reputable psychiatrists who have said that a BI-POLAR examination cannot be done in two 45 minute sessions, weeks apart. They have stated that normally the exam would be conducted under constant 24 hour supervision for at least 7 days, by a psychiatrist not by a clinical psychologist. Adam also has complained of many of the same issues concerning Michelle. He has said that she is extremely moody, unhygienic, insecure, controlling, and mean to the children, does not keep the house cleaned at all, and is constantly crying and having fits of rage. He has said that she will call him almost every10-15 minutes when he is out of the house.
Adam had gone to visit my mother when she was in NJ and expressed how he knew something was wrong with her. She is always crying, she is very moody, she won’t take care of the house, herself or the kids. And this wasn’t long after he brought her there. I spoke to him briefly about it and he said he had to find a way to send her back to North Carolina. The next thing you knew she was pregnant again. Then supposedly they got married.
Adam became irate with my mother because I had expressed my concerns to the court again about Michelle’s condition. He sent her an email yelling at her about. He told her I told you those things in confidence and you went back and told that bitch! Except what Adam didn’t know, is that HER family was constantly contacting me. Via phone, internet, whatever they could. Michelle’s family has also expressed concerns of both the childrens safety. Michelle’s family has stated that she was molested by her Biological father as a child, and that it became consensual as she became older. They have expressed that Michelle tries to dominate every situation she is in, especially when it comes to a personal relationship. She does not want to feel any intimidation so she will do what it takes to rid of it.
I petitioned the court on December 5, 2001, pleading with them for the safety of Tristin, I begged them to not allow Adam to move in with this woman, or at least give me residential custody. Adam was trying to conceal Tristin once again and lied to me about where he was moving. I compelled the court for him to reveal his true address to me. Everything truly went down hill from here. Adam moved in with Michelle into his parents house, then into an apartment in Franklin Township. Tristin was forced to share a room with a 10 year old girl. I requested a Best Interest Evaluation be done; the courts did not do that until 2003.I tried to tell the courts how Adam was raising Tristin. For the most part to be a racist. I was amazed at the slurs that Tristin knew.
He had no respect for other people, including law enforcement. Adam had gloated and laughed about being pulled over and Tristin screaming “pig” at the officer. He didn’t think twice to tell him they were bad. I don’t know who he would have told him to look for if he was ever lost or needed help. It was at the point where I had close friends on a local PD come to the home in full uniform and in a police car. They helped us teach Tristin to have respect for law and its officials.
Another incident that I can remember is when Adam took Tristin through the drive-thru at McDonalds, Tristin had become irritated with waiting so he started yelling at the guy in front of them to move. Calling him names such as “bindi” and dot head. I worked a lot with Tristin to teach him how to be respectful towards other people, no matter what they looked like.Adam, still contacted me on civil terms here and there, and still avidly spoke to my parents.
Adam, continually expressed concerns about the situation. Adam and I constantly argued over the court orders. Each time a petition was filed Adam would call DYFS, falsify information so that they would conduct and investigation.
The first time he did this was in July of 2002, on Sunday July 21, 2002, I had filed for a child support reduction and the hearing was on July 22, the next day. Tristin and I had spent the weekend in Cape May and the beach. Adam called DYFS that evening and told them that I had punched and kicked Tristin in the face. (Ironically, Tristin did not have any bruises. Adam never took him to the doctor for it.) DYFS did not contact me until August concerning the incident, they handled the case terribly, when I called the same case worker because Tristin had come to my home with infected blisters and Bacterial Conjunctivitis and bruises, their worker Kofi told me he did not think it was necessary to go visit Tristin.
There different issues on three different dates, they didn’t do anything. So, documented it with the police and saved the doctor bills. Adam actually called DYFS and told them that I gave Tristin Bacterial Conjunctivitis, in an hour’s time. When I rushed Tristin to the doctor she told me that he had, had it so long that I didn’t bring him he would have gone blind. (This was all on a Friday at about 7:30 in the evening; I had picked Tristin up at 6:00pm)He even went to such great lengths to include my ex boyfriend in on his sick tirade. JD and his family were so good to Tristin. They all had loved him like he was their own. They all had done something on their part to create happiness for Tristin.
Things had become so horrible that I had to obtain yet another restraining order. After numerous threats from Adam and Michelle I had no other choice. The same evening at about 3 in the morning the window was broken out of one of our cars parked in the street. Of course, Adam denied it. But we had never had that problem before.
DYFS was the best though. You really have to give it to that organization; I truly don’t understand what you need a degree for to work there. They ran me around in five hundred mile an hour whirlwinds. They believed everything Adam had told them. And what amazed me the most is when they would interview Tristin they were that dull-witted to see that Tristin was lying. They told me well we have to believe whatever Tristin says even if we think he is lying. This is exactly why DYFS is missing over 200 kids in their care. This is also why a lot of them end up dead. You mean to tell me you are going to listen to a 5 or 6 year old little boy, and not take you basic instinct into consideration at all?? What is the point of even bothering yourself with these kids? It is amazing though, I must say. I have seen it all.
There is no justice for the hard working people trying to do right. It is there for the slackers, liars, and con artists. This is why our children turn out to be derelicts of society. Not enough care about them. About what is in the best interest for them, or what will make them happy. Any judge in their right mind would not have let this go on as long as it did.
I had one judge that looked at it all. He spent hours reading. He picks head up and says, “What is wrong with your judge?”? He wouldn’t get near this kid with a 20 foot pole if it were my case. Sadly though, he was just there for a restraining order. If I could I would have had it switched to him. But then he retired.
After countless battles, wasted petitions I didn’t know what else to do. I was forced to keep a restraining order and pick up Tristin at police departments, Adam was constantly calling DYFS with false allegations, and he even sank so low he started having Tristin lie about things that did not happen. Telling him it would be a fun joke to play. I had questioned Tristin after Adam had Tristin tell the Franklin PD that my ex had punched Tristin in the eye.I have had several instances documented by the police including the blisters on Tristins feet, and the one of the times that Adam dropped him off in the dead of winter with no coat on. It was 30 degrees outside. Even the officer was amazed. What was even more amazing when I contacted the social worker he told me that, that was a parenting choice. They do not determine what children go outside wearing. Adam started petitioning the courts, having my visitation suspended and supervised. We were forced to spend it with my grandmother. Which meant I had to leave work, go to Monroe pick her up drive back to Franklin Twp., and pick up Tristin and then go back to her house for the weekend. Which meant Tristin could no longer take Karate, because she didn’t want to go all the way to Sayreville on Saturday mornings.
Then when it was time to drop off Tristin I had to take my grandmother with me to Sayreville, drop off Tristin, then take her all the way back to Monroe and the go back home to Sayreville. And because of all this Tristin was not allowed to spend time with my boyfriend, or his parents. At this point Adam had made it completely unbearable. My grandparents health was starting to go downhill, and they couldn’t deal with all the stress anymore.
Furthermore it was becoming hard on Tristin because his room and all of his toys were somewhere else. He couldn’t understand why, he couldn’t go home. The one time we thought everything was finally going to work out. The judge finally grants my motion in my favor! Adam did not show up for a court date. Earlier in the same week, Michelles family tells me how they were in WV, and she brought a copy of my motion with her! She was laughing about it to her brother Leon and his wife. The same people she told I was a drug addict and abusive to Tristin! It was such a joke I heard.
Well when the judges chambers faxed me a copy of the signed order, I ran to the Franklin PD. They escorted me to Tristins house. And what did we find? THEY WERE MOVING AGAIN! Michelle stood there and ran her mouth about SHE wasn’t notified. So I turned to her and said Adam most certainly was. In fact weren’t you laughing about it with your brother a few days earlier? Talk about someone’s face turning 10 shades of red.
Even the police were taken aback. When Tristin was brought downstairs, he was so filthy and smelled. He hadn’t been bathed in days! Amanda and Connor looked to be kept the same way. Now I knew Michelle and Adam were not hygienic, but to keep children that way. It was just foul. As soon as we returned home with Tristin, he had to be stripped down and submerged in water and soap. I was amazed he didn’t have a disease. His teeth had so much plague on them it looked like he hadn’t brushed them since I last saw him.
So, by this point Adam had moved yet again. This time all they way up to Phillipsburg, something about his wife being closer to work. She worked at Cracker Barrel for goodness sake, you mean to tell me you move 70 miles away instead of just becoming a hostess somewhere else? The best part is Adam tells the judge he only moved 10-15 minutes away from where he was currently living. (In Franklin Twp.) More like an hour and 10 minutes. And again, the judge just lets him do what he wants.
When school started that year, Michelle called me the night before and decided to give me all the school information, and then proceeds to tell me that if I show up she will have me arrested. So I called Phillipsburg, faxed them a copy of my restraining order and child custody order, and drove there for my sons first day of school. And he sure tried, but they couldn’t do anything since I was still Tristin’s mother! Granted I only got to see Tristin for a split second because Adam through such a fit in the foyer that the principal wouldn’t let me see Tristin off to his class. But at least I was there.I couldn’t believe where he moved. It was like living in a bunch of sardine cans! Every house was literally on top of each other! It was amazing. The thing that still makes me laugh is that he told the court he didn’t want me to have custody of Tristin because he was afraid if I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years that I would have no where to live with Tristin.
I broke up with him, moved to Virginia, built a brand new 3000 sq. ft home on 17 acres and got married.
Finally, it became so unbearable; I just didn’t know what to do. I complied with everything the court had said and still I was getting jerked around and nothing done. I had a psychological evaluation done in April 2003 and still in December of 2003, the judge had still not fixed the visitation, she kept ordering that I have one done. I went to all the counseling sessions I was ordered to do. DYFS had never, not once founded any abuse allegations. I just don’t get it. The paper was right there in front of her. It was Adam’s wife who was not complying with have her BI-POLAR exam done. Then when she does, she has it done by the same clinical psychologist that Tristin and Adam were going to for counseling. The judge never once took the minute to look at all the evidence; she went by whatever he told her. If he said I worked off the books as a go-go dancer, then that’s what she believed. If he told her I was a terrorist and out to get him that’s what she believed it was amazing!! I don’t think she ever read one petition I submitted. And the entire time my lawyer told me I was nuts. I kept telling him I thought Adam had the judge in his pocket.
Anytime his lawyer Larry Mezzacca went in there and ran his mouth he got what he wanted. It just seemed so odd to me that, the judge was a prosecutor in Piscataway, where Adam is from. Adams sister dated the Chief of Polices’ (in Piscataway) nephew on and off for years. They share a child together. And here comes Adam every single time to court, lying about everything coming out of his mouth and the judge gives him whatever he wants!! It makes no sense, if for nothing else where is the justice for the children???
The last time I saw Tristin was Christmas. He wouldn’t even let me see him for New Years. I called countless times and got the voicemail. I even had my sister calling and she could never get through. And then finally, he answers the phone, a month later. I was very nice and asked to speak to Tristin, he says hold on. The next thing I know he is screaming like a lunatic for him. When Tristin gets to the phone, he yells at him saying I didn’t know this was your fucking phone!!I ignored it. I started speaking to Tristin and he was so excited to hear from me. The next thing I know is he says “Mommy” to me on the phone, and Adam and Michelle started screaming at him, she isn’t your fucking mommy Tristin, she is Carmela, Michelle is your mommy. Get it right!! I assured him not to worry. We kept talking. I told him how much I love him and that no matter what I as always his mom.
That was the last time I have been able to speak to him. Michelle got on the phone that night and told me that if I ever call him again she’ll personally drive to my house and cut my brake lines. Since then, I have called, and called and called and called, and I if Michelle actually answers the phone I get cursed up and down and threatened. The last time she answered the phone, about 2 months ago, she told me stop calling or she will come burn my house down.I recently found out that Adam went filed a petition last year and it was granted. Not only did Adam falsify all the information he put in the motion, I was never served. He did not even attempt. He knew exactly where I lived, and so did Middlesex County Probation. If for nothing else he could have served my grandmothers house or my uncles or my sisters.In his motion he asked the court for permission to move to PA. So his wife could be closer to work and so that they would be able to afford a house to buy. He moved to West Virginia.
And as far as I know she doesn’t even work anymore. This was also after Adam had told the court he had no intentions of moving from the State of NJ. Yet, another thing the court never caught onto. Since Michelle moved from NC they had spent a good amount of time looking at property in WV. It just took longer than expected to get rid of me so they could move.Adam and Michelle had done everything in their power to make sure I couldn’t have a relationship with Tristin. Adam knew that Tristin was the most important thing to me. He also knew I would fight the battle to the end.
They have got what they wanted now. They have their perfect little family and the wicked witch mother is out of the picture. It amazed me and still does that people could be so vindictive that they would take such measures to destroy people. I think that it ate them up that Tristin loved me so much.If it weren’t for Tristin spending time with me, he would have never played outside, learned how to fish, go crabbing, spend time on the beach, go to the park and play on the swings, go to water parks, and boardwalks, go to the movies on Friday nights, and just go outside and play. Tristin would have never known what it was like to be just a normal little boy. He would have never known that there was so much more to discover other than the XBOX.
Michelle’s family contacted my mother sometime back. Sometime around Christmas I would say, and told her that Michelle was trying to move the family to West Virginia, so that she could throw him out and keep all 3 children and get child support. Funny, one didn’t belong to him. One didn’t belong to her. And he is on SSI and workmens compensation. I don’t know where she thought she was getting with that one.
In June, of this year. I believe the week of the 5th. Michelle’s family contacted my parents. She made them aware of a situation in West Virginia. Adam and Michelle’s perfectly healthy 3 year old son is dead! He died February 19, 2006. Now he was perfectly healthy! Ironically, Adam wasn’t even at home. He was on his way to NJ for doctor appointments. Supposedly, Connor was violently ill. Spent the whole day vomiting, running a fever, and coughing. She keeps giving him medicine. He daughter gives him some water. He starts vomiting again, she gives him more medicine. At 3:00 am she makes him a bed on the living room floor. She goes to sleep on the couch. By 5:00 am he is dead. Sounds suspicious to me. Woman wants to leave man. She knows man won’t give up child. So take away child from man. People act like this has never been done before. They do it all the time. The only difference between Adam taking Tristin away from me is that he is still alive. Connor is not. I could bet my soul on this. I honestly with every piece of integrity in my body, I know something is not right here! Someone must be willing to prove it and listen!I have made hundreds of phone calls. Even drove out there like they told me to, 258 miles away. Everyone including, CPS, State Police, Sheriffs Department, Governors Office, Magistrates, and Medical Examiners Office, I mean everyone has given me a different story. T
he state of West Virginia told me that I had to go back to the State of NJ to file and emergency motion for custody, that they didn’t have jurisdiction. Mind you after they told me to drive there. CPS told me that if they went in the house and deemed it unsanitary or unfit that they would turn Tristin over to me. I called CPS like the Sheriffs Department told me. Not only did it take them 2 hours to find a house where a homicide investigation was done on a main road, but since Adam and Michelle did not answer the door, the girl looks through a small hole in the window and deems it safe and sanitary. Good thing she did a walk through and didn’t find any used syringes or open pill bottles laying around.
Then they tell me that they would have to do a Home Study and Criminal Background Check on me even though I supposedly have Joint Custody. Then I was told that they do not recognize court orders from any other state. I was also told that if I removed my child from his home and the state that they could do nothing about it, because they didn’t preside over the matter. They told me either steal him or go back to Jersey. Mind you after they tell me all that, they don’t accept court orders from others states.Truly it sounds like a big cover up to me.
Small area small community, back woods. I guess they didn’t want it all over the TV and news, about a local mother. I couldn’t believe where Adam had moved our son. It was plainly hell. It looked like Laurence Harbor had had a bomb dropped on it. The homes were unkempt and disgusting. Everyone we stopped to ask for directions in the neighborhood was dirty, drunk, or high. It really was mind-boggling. The hardest thing about being there was seeing what he had resorted to for our sons home. I couldn’t believe this is what he thought was in Tristins best interest.My mother went with me on my trip to WV. She had much skepticism as to what were seeing and what was happening. My mother had the hardest time being tolerant with everyone we came in contact with. She had seen what I was telling her about! They all had something new to say each time you spoke with them! We were both heartbroken when we left WV empty handed. Not even a glimpse of our lost son.I even contacted the activists in DC that fight for the rights of victimized children. They told me to call a lawyer. And every lawyer I talk to won’t help me either. Most of them work for the prosecutors office and the other ONE was dumb as a box of rocks.
Quite honestly, it is justified homicide. A mother does not seek any medical attention, a clinic is right down the road (literally seconds), a hospital is minutes away and she does nothing. No charges have been pressed. You get it was an accident or inconclusive or natural causes. What is that?? A perfectly healthy 3 year old dies of natural causes. Or they can’t figure it out?? Or an accident?? Accident or not. She knew exactly what she was doing! A 3 year old is that sick and you don’t take him to the doctor?? If I threw a baby in a dumpster I would be in jail. If I accidentally shot someone I would be in jail. This is why its justified. She is getting away with it! No one is going to do anything to her. She should be in trouble for at the very least of endangering the welfare of a minor. To say the least. Now when she gets in her fit again, who will be next?? Tristin or Amanda?? This is why they need to get rid of CPS and DYFS. They have done nothing. And they won’t until another one dies.Then you get a homicide detective telling you, I know she did it, I just have to find a way to prove it!Then suddenly he forgets how to return phone calls. You can’t get the Sheriff to return your calls either. Everyone has become extremely quite. Then you get this rookie who tells us, “Well she may have not taken the kid to the ER because of her religion.” WAIT A MINUTE! And I stopped him right there. Adam is Catholic first off. Second, she has been to see doctors, the psych ward, and the hospital when she gave birth to two kids, abortions. It is completely apparent that religion had nothing to do with her not calling 911!
And no one likes when I say justified homicide either. But that is exactly what it is.I have been worrying about Tristin since the day he lived with his father. I worried even more after Michelle. Now, I am so worried, that I am making myself physically ill. I cannot sleep, eat or function normally. I cannot get anywhere. I drove to NJ like I was told. NJ decided they didn’t want to take responsibility for their actions, so they gave me a court order giving up all jurisdictions.
Now, NJ, West Virginia, or Virginia won’t help me. The cake is on the table and no one wants to be bothered. Honestly, any judge with a heart or brain would have never let this go on. There is corruption everywhere. The sad thing is everyone denies it. Now after fighting back and forth for years over everything that judge is gone. Great! Now no one wants to clean up her mess. And then the judge that granted Adams last court order, well he didn’t want to be held responsible either. So now I am completely stuck. Each state is passing the buck. West Virginia is truly a back woods kind of state. (Hush hush says the hooded man. Don’t ever tell a soul.) They have got to be the worst yet or in a close running with New Jersey. They are hiding something. And yet I still wonder whether or not the ME checks for things such as antifreeze and rat poison. And if she gave Connor as much medicine as she says she did, why didn’t it show up? And to think the judge told him he has to allow me the right and privilege of having a normal, happy, healthy relationship with my son. Yeah, how many times has she said that?? He has never listened to the court. Not even once.
And yet, I am still ordered to pay child support to someone who has never used it for that purpose. Someone who gets what they want. So my child support can give 2 lazy people a nicer lifestyle. And he knows the laws; it doesn’t matter if I never see Tristin again. I still have to pay it.
This whole thing reminds me of a Lifetime Movie Network, movie. It just makes my stomach turn everyday when I wake up and think about it.Adam and Michelle have refused all contact with everyone in my family. Including, parents, grandparents, and my sisters. Everyone who has tried to contact Tristin has been threatened. Anyone who has sent anything to Tristin via mail, it has been returned. How does this constitute fulfilling the courts orders to allow Tristin to have a healthy relationship with his family? To deprive a child of a healthy relationship with his family and mother is just inexcusable.There you have it though. You can do what you want and never have to take responsibility for you actions.

WHERE IS THE JUSTICE FOR THE VOICES THAT CANNOT BE HEARD? SOMEONE NEEDS TO TAKE A STAND AND FIGHT FOR THE CHILDRENS RIGHTS!

Connor Alexander Tardif
SCARBRO Connor Alexander Tardif, 3, died Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006, at his home.Born Oct. 2, 2002, in Edison, N.J., he was the son of Adam R. and Michelle Kiszka Tardif.Connor was a member of Our Lady of Fatima in Piscataway, N.J.Survivors include a brother, Tristin N. Tardif, and a sister, Amanda R. Lambert, both at home; paternal grandparents, Leo and Robin Tardif of Piscataway; and maternal grandparents, Joseph L. Kiszka of Fayetteville and Lora Sue Samples of St. Albans.Service will be 2 p.m. Thursday at Tyree Funeral Home, Oak Hill, with Father John P. McDonough officiating.Friends may call 1 to 2 p.m. Thursday at the funeral home.Online condolences may be sent at http://www.tyreefuneralhome.com.Arrangements by Tyree Funeral Home, Oak Hill.

John Kwasnick reguested that I write this summary. When it was given to him, he acted mortified. HE in his own words promised he would help to make this situation right. This summary was given to him in the summer of 2006.

I have left a multitude of messages. I have called several times a day, sometimes everyday and he still has not returned ONE CALL.

It is an absolute shame that there is no justice for the innocent children.

Where do we turn?

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Obama’s pick for economic advisor is one of the Chicago Boyz

You know, the purveyors of Friedmanesque orthodoxy that has had genocidal consequences wherever it has been applied.

Chile during the Pinochet regime’s rule would be one of the more notoriously brutal exemplars - those first years of the regime (1973-1976) merit its inclusion in Genocide Watch’s list of genocides since 1945 to the present. That said, the more insidious genocidal features of neoliberalism have largely been organizational and structural in nature: violent in their effects, but not as salient in public discourse as massacres. Subcomandante Marcos referred to NAFTA in a 1994 interview as a “death sentence” for the campesinos in his nation¹. In fact, Marcos went on to say,

“NAFTA sets up competition among farmers, but how can our campesinos - who are mostly illiterate - compete with US and Canadian farmers? And look at this rocky land we have here. How can we compete with the land in California, or in Canada? So the people of Chiapas, as well as the people of Oaxaca, Veracruz, Quintana Roo, Guerrero, and Sonora were the sacrificial lambs of NAFTA.”

Indeed, the subsequent 14 years have borne out his concerns, as imported produce flooded the markets, forcing campesinos to abandon their plots and become among the mass numbers of displaced people (many of whom then risk life and limb attempting to cross the border into the US). Similarly, as I’ve noted, manufacturing laborers also took a severe hit as jobs were outsourced to China. Although the effects of neoliberal orthodoxy have been far less visible in the US, we can note its effects here in the land of milk and honey as well - increased poverty, homelessness, decreased quality of life for all but a relative few multimillionaires and billionaires. Although Obama talks a good game when it comes to “change” - given his choices in Congress and on the current campaign trail, it’s just talk. He’s certainly not about to change nearly three decades of neoliberal orthodoxy that has governed the US in its domestic programs and international relations. Rather, expect more of the same, merely with a happier facade.

1. Benjamin, Medea (1995). Interview: Subcomandante Marcos. In E. Katzenberger (Ed.), First World, Ha Ha Ha! The Zapatista Challenge. San Francisco: City Lights.

Continue Reading Obama’s pick for economic advisor is one of the Chicago Boyz

Friday, June 13, 2008

No one is living now in my country

A poem by Juan Bañuelos

For the tortured and assassinated Indios and campesinos

Imprisoned country

Turbulent
Clamoring
Grieving

It’s not the light

It’s the smoke that awakens
with the viscera of dust in its hands

It’s the rotten rust exhaled
by the disappeared

It’s the children who play with skeletons

It’s the moon that can discern
all the tortured by their own terror

And on the edges of eyelids
ulcers of hunger

                Suddenly

    our language

    spits out
    the gravedigger’s liquor

    assassins shout
    through the anus

obsidian winds sweep away
the saltpeter the haze the red vapor
of the massacre

the last second preceding
enlightenment

Let the sun set itself in motion
Let the heavens never again fall upon the earth

widows scream
sheltering our foreheads

with thin mouths
and the dead eye of the moon

              The hummingbird’s egg:
              an aurora borealis

There is a faraway country so turbulent
so great   And yet again so far

Note: This poem was translated by Barbara Paschke, for the book First World, Ha Ha Ha! The Zapatista Challenge (1995).

Friday, June 06, 2008

Anniversaries

Earlier this week marked the 19th anniversary of this famous Tiananmen Square moment:

Props to Kai for the reminder, and for the above photo. She also offers up a few lines that I think are more than well-worth sharing:

...it symbolizes the courage to stand up to the power of the machine, everywhere in the world, but especially right in one’s own country. Whenever we speak out against imperialism, corporatism, militarism, we’re that guy standing in front of those tanks. But we’re not alone.

By the time of the student protests taking place in China in 1989, the government had already abandoned Maoism, and could only be called “communist” in name only as its leadership had embraced neoliberal economics. What that ended up meaning was “freedom” only in the sense of commerce, rather than in the sense that was of interest to the Tiananmen Square protesters (i.e., freedom of movement, of imagination, of choice). At the time, I was a 20-something anarchist who found much to admire in what these protesters where doing.

A year later, I would stumble upon a book of poetry by Bei Dao, The August Sleepwalker (an anthology published by New Directions, 1990), that can perhaps be thought of as Chinese Existentialist literature. It seemed serendipitous to find the book right around that anniversary, and there was so much to treasure in that one slender volume. To give you an idea, here’s an English translation of a poem he wrote after the 1976 Tiananmen Square protests, “The Answer” (p. 33):

Debasement is the password of the base.
Nobility is the epitaph of the noble.
See how the gilded sky is covered
With the drifting twisted shadows of the dead.

The Ice Age is over now.
Why is there ice everywhere?
The Cape of Good Hope has been discovered.
Why do a thousand sails contest the Dead Sea?

I came into this world
Bringing only paper, rope, a shadow,
To proclaim before the judgement
The voice that has been judged:

Let me tell you world,
I - do - not - believe!
If a thousand challengers lie beneath your feet,
Count me as number one thousand and one.

I don’t believe the sky is blue;
I don’t believe in thunder’s echoes;
I don’t believe that dreams are false;
I don’t believe that death has no revenge.

If the sea is destined to breach the dikes
Let all the brackish water pour into my heart;
If the land is destined to rise
Let humanity choose a peak for existence again.

A new conjunction and glimmering stars
Adorn the unobstructed sky now;
They are the pictographs from five thousand years.
They are the watchful eyes of future generations.

I come back to this moment in history nearly two decades older, perhaps more steeped in Situationist and Zapatista thought than anarchy per se. In that photo, I see the sort of action that would inspire the Zapatista uprising in 1994 (which has met with a far better fate thus far), which in turn would spawn various other anti-globalism and anti-authoritarian actions. That moment has had something of a ripple effect - one which we’ll be watching and hopefully participating in for some time to come. Food for thought.

Cross-posted from The Mahatma X Files.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Will Alexander benefit in SF

Continue Reading Will Alexander benefit in SF

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Bravery - Burma Monks

There may be 10 to 20,000 of them, instead of one - but they are still standing in front of a tank.

,

Myanmar police, soldiers deployed to pagodas and monasteries

Agence France-Presse
Last updated 10:34am (Mla time) 09/26/2007

YANGON—Military-ruled Myanmar deployed armed soldiers and riot police to key pagodas and monasteries around Yangon on Wednesday, in a bid to prevent Buddhist monks from staging anti-junta protests, witnesses said.

Also during the night, Myanmar’s most famous comedian Zaganar, who had publicly thrown his support behind the monks, was arrested at his home, a friend told AFP.

“Zaganar was arrested around 1:30 am at his home,” because he brought food and water to the monks to support the protests, a friend told AFP.

Zaganar, along with other prominent movie stars and artists, had vocally urged the public to support the monks leading the most serious protests against the military regime in nearly two decades.

On Monday and Tuesday, he delivered food and water to monks as they prepared for their protests that drew 100,000 people into the streets.

Protesters defy junta (The Hindu)

The barefoot art of war (Salon)

Not my area of expertise, but I would say this is shaping up to be an unstoppable event - my hopes are with it having a good outcome.

[update: 9/26 4;30pm] Police Clash With Monks in Myanmar

collection of links from Kai

Marisacat also has an excellent pulling together of news reports and events.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Whoa. And I Bet You Thought *Your* Boss Was Bad

Might be time to count your blessings.

Boss Killed Employees After They Asked For Raise

FULTON COUNTY, Ga.—Police say a business owner who was having financial problems shot and killed two of his employees after they asked him for a raise.

The suspect in the murders, 38-year-old Rolandas Milinavicius, turned himself in to East Point authorities Saturday. Officials said Milinavicius was the victims’ boss.

East Point police said Milinavicius confessed to the killings. Officials said he told them he was under a lot of stress because of heavy debts with his business.

Milinavicius told authorities conversations in recent weeks with his only two employees about pay raises pushed him over the edge.

[...]

A 28-year-old man and 25-year-old woman had been shot to death.

Jeebus.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Send a Net, Save a Life

An emergency appeal from Nothing But Nets, a grassroots organization that sends insecticide treated bed nets to affected areas in Africa.

Here is part of an overview of the crisis:

Armed movements, including fighting spreading from the Darfur region of Sudan (neighboring Chad to the East), have forced over 200,000 Chadians from their homes in recent months, and send them flooding into refugee camps on the Chad-Sudan border, particularly around Goz Beida, a major refugee host area.

Displaced from their homes, these Chadians face a growing threat…from a tiny mosquito. In June the rainy season arrived – with malaria following right behind. As the climate gets wetter, disease transmission will rise sharply and continue on through November.

The sudden influx of Chadians into refugee camps has left tens of thousands of people highly vulnerable to malaria.

[...]

The challenge is urgent—without outside assistance, officials estimate 25% of these internally displaced people will die from malaria. To save lives, we need to send 40,000 nets in the next six weeks.

Go here to see how you can help.

via UN Dispatch

Sunday, July 01, 2007

my heart goes out to the family of david ritcheson

i had posted this on my own blog, but as my readers consist of me…and, well, me, i thought i’d post it over here as well.  during a time when the immigration issue is flying around like yesterday’s “GAY MARRIAGE causes FLAG BURNING which leads to ABORTION and ATTACKS ON CHRISTIANS” (i’m sure i’ve forgotten something) issues and hate groups are increasing in number spawning more hate crimes… i’m SO deeply saddened by this story…

...I had to face the fact that I had been targeted for violence in a brutal crime because of my ethnicity.  This crime took place in middle-class America in the year 2006. The reality that hate is alive, strong, and thriving in the cities, towns, and cul-de-sacs of Suburbia, America was a surprise to me.  America is the country I love and call home.  However, the hate crime committed against me illustrates that we are still, in some aspects, a house divided.

i almost don’t know what to say.  this is the type of story that just hurts to read.  it brought matthew shepard to mind immediately, though i held out hope for this victim.  he’d survived.

on april 23, 2006, two skinheads, david tuck, 19, and keith turner, 18, brutally attacked a 16 year old hispanic boy.  he’d once been the running back for the football team, the freshman homecoming prince, had a girlfriend.  sent to an alternative school for fighting, he said he’d never really fit in there.  on the night of april 22, he and gus sons, a boy he’d met in the alternative school, met up with david tuck and keith turner and returned to gus sons’ house.  “partying”, they drank vodka, smoked pot, did some coke, took xanax.  while it is believed that the crime was premeditated, they (tuck and turner) used the pretext that they believed the boy had stolen some drugs and tried to kiss gus sons’ 12 year old sister to initiate what would be an hour long, vicious attack.

they dragged the boy outside.  punched him.  kicked him repeatedly in the head with steel toed boots.  stripped him.  burned him 17 times with cigarettes.  tried to carve a swastika into his chest.  poured bleach on his face and body.  yelling ethnic slurs, david tuck kicked an outdoor umbrella pole up into the boy’s rectum, severely damaging his internal organs. 

gus sons never stopped the attack, nor did he call an ambulance.  the boy lay naked, broken and bleeding, in the backyard, until gus sons’ mother called the police hours later.  (gus sons would later apologize, during his testimony against both attackers.)

the boy would spend the next three months and eight days in the hospital, mostly in critical care.  he’d endure 30 surgeries, with even more to come.

he returned to school in the fall of 2006.  at first, he looked forward to being with his friends and returning to a “normal” life, yet he felt overwhelmed by the realization that everyone knew who he was.  he was “the kid”.  in an april 2007 interview with the houston chronicle, he talks about how it was “degrading”, how he can’t say the “s word” (sodomy), and how he’s trying to deal with it “by not thinking about it”.  he’d declined psychological counseling.

on april 17, 2007, david ritcheson, the victim of this brutal hate crime, testified before congress in support of the “local law enforcement hate crimes prevention act”.  under current law, the fbi had no grounds to investigate the attack, because it occurred in a private yard.  to be a “hate crime”, it had to occur in a place of public access.  this is what david wanted changed. 

“I appear before you as a survivor…I am here before you today asking that our government take the lead in deterring individuals like those who attacked me from committing unthinkable and violent crimes against others because of where they are from, the color of their skin, the God they worship, the person they love, or the way they look, talk or act.”

on may 3, 2007, the house voted 237 to 180 in favor of the “local law enforcement hate crimes prevention act”, also known as “the matthew shepard act”.  it will now go on to be voted on by the senate, though president gw bush has indicated that he may veto the bill.

on july 1, 2007, david ritcheson jumped to his death from a carnival cruise ship headed to cozumel.

there are no words to express how saddened i am by david’s death.  may his parents, friends, and community someday find peace.

below, read david ritcheson’s testimony before congress…

Continue Reading my heart goes out to the family of david ritcheson

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

US Citizen Deported - By The US - For Looking Foreign

Via Steven D at the Booman Tribune comes this ridiculous (and possibly tragic) story. And, as belledame points out, it’s almost a case of fact imitating fiction.

Reuters:

ACLU spokesman Michael Soller said 29-year-old Pedro Guzman was serving a 120-day sentence in a Los Angeles jail for trespassing when he was deported to Tijuana, Mexico, on May 10 or May 11 for an alleged immigration violation.

The group’s suit filed in U.S. District Court seeks to have the deportation order suspended and for the U.S. government to help locate Guzman.

Guzman, who was born in Los Angeles and lived about 70 miles north in Lancaster with his mother, could barely read and write, Soller said. He did not know his phone number and kept his brother’s telephone number on a piece of paper. But the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency in a written statement denied Guzman’s deportation, which followed immigration checks at the jail, was improper.

“ICE only processes persons for removal when all available credible evidence suggests the person is an alien,” ICE officials said. “That process was followed here and ICE has no reason to believe that it improperly removed Pedro Guzman.”

[....]

The only telephone call Guzman made came shortly after his deportation, on May 11 and was received by his sister in law, Soller said.

“The last thing she heard him do was ask someone nearby ‘Where am I?’ and then the line went dead,” Soller said. Guzman has not been heard from since and is assumed lost in Mexico.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Kennedy: Families Pay The Price For Failed System

They apparently name this mess “Operation Return to Sender”. How… cute.

Boston Herald

All over New Bedford on Tuesday, hundreds of women and men woke up, kissed their children goodbye and left for another day of work at Michael Bianco Inc. They knew it would be a grueling day because there was no other kind of day in the sweatshop-like conditions of the factory. But they were willing to work hard and without complaint because they believed in the American Dream, in which hard work creates a hope for a better life - if not for them, then for their children.

What happened next was a tragic example of the desperate state of our current immigration policy. Hundreds of armed police and immigration officers raided the factory, creating panic among the workers. They handcuffed unarmed men and women in the same factory where the workers had already known nothing but indignity at the hands of their employer.

While the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) was ready with hundreds of officers to subdue a group of frightened workers, they were woefully unprepared to deal with the aftermath of their own raid. The DHS knew that it would be detaining young parents, and yet had no effective plan to identify and help the children who would be left alone. The photographs of bewildered, crying children told with eloquence the story of a government operation distinguished by its callousness.

Pot Haulers Are Laid Back Too, I Guess

For some reason I just can’t see this happening with a cocaine shipment.

From BBC

An abandoned consignment of marijuana with a street value of $20m (£10.3m) was found in California when a policeman went to check on a lorry.

The vehicle was unlocked and the engine warm, but no-one was in the cab.

The patrolman found plastic-wrapped bundles of the drug in the back of the rental vehicle near Los Angeles after smelling marijuana, AP said.

[...]

“Somebody’s going be in some major trouble for walking away and leaving that quantity sitting on the side of the freeway,” said Sgt Telfinues Preszler Jnr of the California Highway Patrol .

“I’m glad I’m not him.”

He suggested the engine might have overheated, causing the vehicle to be abandoned along with three tons of marijuana on a slip road in the city of Ontario late on Wednesday. (emphasis added)

For want of a nail…

This story cracks me up. Maybe the shippers were broke until after they were paid for the delivery, and so couldn’t afford to service a truck carrying millions of dollars worth of (illegal) goods. Or even provide a spare water bottle.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Turkish Court Blacks Out YouTube

Insulting the country’s founder, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, is a crime in Turkey punishable by prison.

ISTANBUL, Turkey—Four college students on Thursday asked a Turkish court to revoke the ban it imposed on YouTube for running videos that prosecutors said insulted the founder of modern Turkey.

The group condemned the videos in question but said blocking access to the Web site violated their rights to free speech, the private Turkish news agency Dogan reported.

“Banning access to the Web site does not punish those who did that (posted the videos) but the citizens of the Turkish republic,” said student Kursat Cetinkoz, reading from a petition the group submitted to the court in Istanbul.

[...]

Turk Telekom, the country’s largest telecommunications provider, immediately began enforcing the ban Wednesday. Those who tried to access the YouTube site from Turkey encountered the message: “Access to this site has been blocked by a court decision!...”

The court—acting on a petition from Turk Telekom—ruled later Wednesday that it would revoke the ban as soon as it ascertained that the offending videos had been removed from YouTube. YouTube is owned by internet search engine giant Google.

From the Chicago Tribune.

I suppose there is a historical reason for the ban on insulting ‘Turkishness’, but I don’t know what it is, or how one could justify punishing the insults with a court case and possible prison time. I know (or at least, I believe I know) that in Germany it is illegal to deny the Holocaust - am not sure if there are prison consequences attached to that, nor am I sure that I agree with the law itself. But, then, I’m not German and that is no doubt a very sensitive issue for them. From what I understand, however, neo Nazi groups flourish in spite of the law.

Anyway, though… the situations are not analogous because in Turkey, it was the Armenians who were the victims of the genocide.

Google/YouTube did take the video down, by the way, after apparently thousands of letters of complaint.