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Wednesday, September 17, 2008 This Is What It Sounds Like When Cows Shriek by Doc Logan The Republican Party is obsessed with Ronald Reagan. The 2008 Republican primary debates seemed like nothing more than an opportunity for all the candidates to boast that they were more Reagany than the others. And they endlessly moon about the occasion when their plastic saint bellowed “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” Face it, we spent fifty years with the U.S.S.R. as the big boogeyman in the closet. That’s powerful marketing. So when Russia started firing on Georgia, the Republicans cheered as if their pasty messiah had descended from the heavens, as a rain of jellybeans fell around him. Naturally, ignoring the fact that Georgia’s hands may not have been clean in the matter. John McCain and Sarah Palin began looking for walls so they could demand that Putin tear them down. In her interview with ABC’s Charlie Gibson, Palin declared “And we’ve got to keep an eye on Russia. For Russia to have exerted such pressure in terms of invading a smaller democratic country, unprovoked, is unacceptable.” (Note the inclusion of “democratic”. Don’t tell me she wasn’t coached a hundred times to include that weasel word.) Pravda was not amused. Here’s a small taste: “Sarah Palin, Mrs. Nobody know-it-all shreiking cow from Alaska, the joke of American politics, plied with a couple of vodkas before letting rip in front of incredulous audiences while McCain coos in the background, cuts a ridiculous figure as she strives to be taken seriously. ... “And have you not forgotten, you pith-headed little bimbo from the back of beyond, that small detail about the slaughter of Russian citizens by Georgians, which started the whole debacle? So next time suppose you keep your mouth shut and while you’re at it, make sure the members of your family keep their legs shut too. Your country has enough failed mothers as it is.” I have to try harder at this snark stuff. The Russians are clearly outclassing me, and we cannot afford a blog snark gap. |
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