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Sunday, May 11, 2008 by Melonhead99
a conspiracy thing I’ve come up with all alone and which I’ve mentioned before, but more news today. To recap for those that have not followed, I’ll give a quick summary of my views. Sudan, Worlds 2nd largest oil reserves, biggest supplier of oil to China, you have China providing the expertise to Sudan and billions of dollars for the oil, in the process bringing mostly to an end a long running civil war, apart from one or two factions. Right so we have sort of two states in one, North and South, sharing massive ammounts of wealth and totally relient on China to keep the balance of power between them. Now we have to it’s west the country of Chad, not a wealthy country, but mineral wealth, untapped a lot of it. Now we have China looking at this and thinking that they’d like a slice and it would fit right in with the Chinese strategy of buying up Africa. But what does Chad do? it says ‘ok, you can have a deal, but you can shove exclusive rights to stuff up your arse, we aren’t signing away our resources for a quick payment up front’ Now China goes ‘you cheeky fuckers, do you know who you’re talking to? we own a fuckin big army on your doorstep in Sudan’ So then we have, Sudanese millitias invading Chad. ‘Oh bum!’ says Chad, ‘what shall we do? I know, lets get give more arms to the rebels in Dafur who we’ve already armed in the past’ Now Chad knows it can’t do this alone, so they go to Mr Bush ‘hello, China is arming Sudan to the teeth, do you really want this lot exapanding thier power, we can already see the chaos in Somalia a bit to the south and with Eritria always on the road to collapse, do you really want your friends in Ethiopia surrounded and cut off by a load of people that make the Taliban look like the Salvation Army?’ ‘Oh Bum!’ says Mr Bush, ‘But our millitary is over stretched, we even had to beg Ethopia and the African Union for help, we’ve got no troops left’ Then Mr Bush thinks and says ‘Hang on, my new best mate the French President might help, I’ll phone him up’ ‘Sarkozy me old mate, would you like to come visit my ranch, it’s great, we can dress as cowboys, you can have Tony Blair’s old room’ So Sarkozy visits America, never thing we know, French ‘peace keeping troops’ arrive in Chad, now we see this stuff today.
Both Chad and Jem rebels deny working together to launch the assault on the Khartoum suburb of Omdurman, which the rebels say they have taken control of. The government said the rebel advance, the closest they have come to Khartoum, had been defeated. An overnight curfew imposed on Khartoum has been lifted, but not in Omdurman. Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir made the announcement that his country was breaking off diplomatic ties with Chad on state television. “These forces [behind the Omdurman attack] are all basically Chadian forces supported and prepared by Chad and they moved from Chad under the leadership of [rebel chief] Khalil Ibrahim,” President Bashir said in his televised statement. He added his country reserved the right to retaliate against Chad. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7394422.stm
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Thursday, May 08, 2008 Long Past Time For An Intervention by Doc Logan
It’s over. Everyone knows it’s over.
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Tuesday, May 06, 2008 by Doc Logan
I’m rich! Rich, I tell you! Mwa ha ha ha ha! And the funny bit is, I thought the fact that I was working in a low income retail job, despairing that I can’t afford to repair or replace my broken car, meant I was one of the working poor! But Lambert at Correntewire has shown me the light! I’m a triple vente zappachino sipping elitist, I am! And I owe it all to the miracle of self delusion! For, obviously, only a “creative class” elitist, who looks down his nose at the common wage slave could think the Clinton “gas tax holiday” was anything other than the most obvious and pathetic sort of shameless pandering. Lambert has cured me of my silly notion that I’m among the working poor, and I shall catch a bus immediately to the closest Starbucks, and me and my fellow snobbish yuppie friends will while away the evening, making cruel sport of blue collar idiots. (I’m slightly worried that some people won’t pick up on the sarcasm.)
Posted by Doc Logan on 05/06 at 12:58 PM
I'm old and crabby and I have a pen • (2) Comments • Permalink • Tell-a-Friend
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Monday, April 28, 2008 by Melonhead99
DON’T PANIC! The Words on the cover of The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy, and also the words used by government or the media to instill the most panic in a population. We see it time and time again, terrorism, oil, food, it’s like a controlled response in people, which the government can use, it knows it can tell us to do one thing and be assured the opposite will happen, but also means governments can’t control things when it actually does want people not to panic. I don’t know if it’s always been like this or if it’s more a recent thing? Maybe the media, that loves to stir shit up? maybe it’s the mistrust of politicans in general? I only mention it really as on the news, a strike as meant there might be petrol shortages in parts of Britain, the government and aurthorities said there was no need to panic buy, so obviously some people have rushed out and filled thier tanks, meaning in some places supplies are running low. It was much like Northern Rock, the British Bank, it was struggling a bit with the present troubles in the markets, loans etc, the British Government askes people not to panic, next thing you see is big queues of people desperate to get thier money out. I’m not sure why I’m typing this, but I’ll post it anyway, sod all else to post.
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Saturday, April 26, 2008 by Melonhead99
It’s a very sad day for fans of I’m Sorry I haven’t a Clue, as we hear the news of the death of the shows host Humphrey Lyttleton, I think the greatest tribute can be paid by a Mrs Trellis of North Wales who said “Dear Mrs McCartney: My, what a terrible mess. You must be kicking yourself.”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7367385.stm Veteran jazz musician and radio host Humphrey Lyttelton has died aged 86. The chairman of BBC Radio 4’s comedy panel show I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue recently had surgery in an attempt to repair an aortic aneurysm. The latest series of the quiz programme was cancelled after Lyttelton was admitted to Barnet Hospital in north London on 16 April. BBC Director General Mark Thompson described “Humph” as “a unique, irreplaceable talent”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isihac
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Friday, April 25, 2008 No honest, tell your kids, they aren’t dead! by Melonhead99
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Bloody Hell, this really is great by Melonhead99
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by Melonhead99
Stories of the death of Barry Chuckle prove unfounded Children’s entertainer and one half of the comedy duo the Chuckle Brothers Barry Chuckle was found dead in a brothel in Belfast today. The PSNI have so far ruled out foul play and believe Mr Chuckle died of a massive heart attack during a particularly vigorous sexual act with a 53-year old local prostitute affectionately known as ‘Stinky’. The brothel in question is coincidentally the very same one in which jazz musician Glen Miller died nearly half a century ago. Younger brother Paul (79) is said to be distraught as the pair were about to start filming the latest series of their Chucklevision television programme. The immensily popular Chucklevision is the BBC’s longest running children’s TV programme, and the new series would have been the brothers’ 52nd. Over the years however, the pair have been subject to much criticism. In the late seventies, Tory politician Enoch Powell called for the brothers to be arrested for treason after they famously holidayed in the south of France. They were also regularly criticised by disabled groups for allegedly making light of the issue of serious head injury in their patented slapstick routines. http://www.gubuwire.com/?p=469 and for those asking ‘who?’
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuckle_Brothers
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Thursday, April 24, 2008 by Doc Logan
When blatant racism was used in a political campaign, progressives were disgusted. When the vile Richard Mellon Scaife inserted himself into the political process, progressives were disgusted. When 9/11 was referenced in political campaigns, progressives were disgusted. When right-wingers scapegoated MoveOn.org, progressives were disgusted. When Iran was threatened with potential use of nuclear weapons, progressives were disgusted. Are you disgusted yet?
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by Doc Logan
“Fat Tony” Scalia says we should get over Bush v. Gore. “I say nonsense, get over it. It’s so old by now. The principal issue in the case, whether the scheme that the Florida Supreme Court had put together violated the federal Constitution, that wasn’t even close.” Right, it’s old. So we can forget about all that Jesus stuff, to paraphrase Bill Hicks. “It was Al Gore who made it a judicial question ... We didn’t go looking for trouble, it was he who said, ‘I want this to be decided by the courts’. What are we supposed to say—‘Not important enough?’ “ Um, Antonin? I know this is esoteric legal knowlege, and you’re merely an associate justice of the United States Supreme Court and not expected to know this sort of thing, but the name of the case is “Bush v. Gore”. The name of the petitioner goes first. The petitioner is the person who brings the lawsuit, and that person, in this case, is George W. Bush. He is the one who made it a judicial question. So, Antonin, you’re either a liar or an idiot. Or there’s the very real chance that you’re both. In any case, there’s no reason you should be allowed to decide any matter more weighty than Paper v. Plastic. (And yes, Paper is the petitioner.)
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by Melonhead99
TORONTO - World Vision, one of the world’s biggest humanitarian organizations, says it can no longer provide food to 1.5 million of the 7.5 million poor it fed last year. The organization blames the soaring cost of food and countries not living up to their donor commitments for the decision. World Vision Canada president Dave Toycen says about 572,000 of those who won’t receive its aid are children “who urgently need enough food to thrive.” Toycen predicts it will likely take at least two years for “this pricing crisis” to stabilize. He says that’s “far too long” for the millions of children under the age of five who need sufficient nutrition right now to develop properly. http://www.cbc.ca/cp/national/080423/n042302A.html Remember the people at G8 summits, demonstrating? how we laughed at the idiot hippies in thier silly clothes, ranting on about Global Capitalism. They predicted all this, they were ignored.
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Thursday, April 17, 2008 Important Administrative Notice by Doc Logan
Microsoft sucks. Yeah, and I know the line about the Pope being Catholic and bears pooping in the woods. It has recently come to our attention that some posts are not visible in Internet Explorer. For the full bloggy enjoyment, view Humanbeams.com in Opera or Firefox, both of which are better than IE, and we’re not just saying that because IE makes our posts disappear. We now return you to our regularly scheduled silly pictures and wondering where Nanette is.
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by Melonhead99
right, that last entry of mine seems to have disapeared? whats going on? |
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